"You're a long way from home, boy."

If there was one thing Hog wanted more than all the gold in the world right now, it was to wipe the smug smirk off Victor Goldmane's stupid face. Despite the fact that Hog was easily double Victor's size, the rich bastard simply stood there in his glittering toy suit, smiling as if they were sitting down to lunch.

"On the contrary," Victor mused. "I carry my home with me wherever I go."

He hoisted his lion-crested shield. "And I go wherever I please."

Hog snorted. "You should have stayed back at your daddy's castle."

"And you should have taken the money." There was a nasty gleam in Victor's eyes that Hog didn't like one bit.

He raised his gigantic axe, preparing to fell the smarmy brat. With a roar he brought it down with the force of a boulder, as Victor sheltered beneath his shield. To Hog's astonishment the axe shattered into tiny fragments as if it were made out of hound biscuits. He gawped at the fractured handle, then back at Victor's gleeful face.

"A simple switch with a cheap fake."

Hog suddenly felt a hot flush as his head began to swim. Struggling to keep his footing he staggered backwards from Victor, who calmly pressed forward.

"That pint you downed earlier not sitting well?"

Hog fell to his hands and knees, throwing up violently. He glanced up desperately but the golden figure was nowhere in sight. A sharp pain coursed through his spine as Victor's heel dug into an old injury in his lower back.

"Didn't take much for your old rivals to spill your weak spot." Victor ground his boot in deeper, forcing Hog to eat sand. "As I said, you should have just taken the money."

"Hog... doesn't take bribes." He gasped through the pain.

Victor shrugged, unhooking a masterfully crafted hammer from his belt.

"No matter. Every problem has a solution." He lifted the hammer to deliver the final blow. "You just need to find who will sell it to you."